My sister and I were always used to going to visit out friends together on weekends. On one particular Saturday, she left without informing me. When I realized later and asked our mum where she went to, she told me that Julie had gone to visit our best friend who was having some trouble coping up with a cold flu. I really felt betrayed and disappointed since my sister never told me even about or sick friend. When she came back I wanted to pay back; instead of picking a quarrel, I decided to withdraw from one of the activities we used to do together on weekend nights. We always liked to watch movies together, and that day she came back home with “Twilight Saga.” When she called me to her bedroom to watch, I told her I had a lot of homework. She felt so angry since she knew I did not have any pending assignments; but at least I felt better for making her pay for the betrayal behavior.
I have also been a victim of a “crazymaking” behavior. We had agreed with my friend Ken to go hiking on a summer Sunday. After school on Friday, we bought everything we needed: bottled water, backpack, and snacks and agreed to meet up at his place on the hiking day at 2.00 PM. When the day arrived, I decided to go to church first, but the mass extended till 1.30 PM. By the time I reached home and changed into hiking outfit, it was already 3.00 PM. It took me another ten minutes to reach his place. I apologized for being late but Ken insisted that there was nothing to worry about since he understood the situation. Throughout the whole journey, he never talked to me; in fact, whenever I raised a topic, his response was either a “yes” or “no”. I really felt angry due to his behavior towards me.
Chapter 10 and 11 Discussion
My friend, Clara, is my roommate in an apartment we rented near school, and lately she has been abandoning all her chores; this forces me to do them since I have other friends that visit me almost daily after classes, but doing all the work has made me late with my assignments and miss time to do others. I had to communicate to Clara about the issue using assertive message:
I realized that lately you have been avoiding all your chores and leaving your dirty clothes on the bed (behavior). I know you are having many courses this semester than I do (interpretation). But I am afraid it is making me feel overwhelmed; I can even to my own assignments on time because I have to clean up your mess (feeling). If you do not change, I think we will have to part ways next Semester (consequence of the other’s action).
The message has behaviors, consequences, interpretation and feelings. The behavior of my friend is what causes the reaction; she has been avoiding her responsibilities and this makes me feel overwhelmed. I tried to interpret why she might be acting the way she does, but at the same time make her realize her actions might jeopardize our relationship.